A LOOK AT MODERN DAY ROMANCE, AS TOLD BY LOVE ISLAND.

Wednesday, 18 July 2018

So somehow I found myself on a post I wrote last year about how we date now, and I think all these opinions about love came to mind because I was indeed watching Love Island at the time. This year is no different, and in some ways I think some of this years cast have been a bit more muggy than last year and my amount of #LoveIsland tweets have doubled. One thing I'm taking away from the show this year is never state you love/hate someone straight away because chances are your opinion will change on them within an hour of the next episode (or in their company). Of course there are a lot of things that separate me and the people on Love Island - for one they're all flawless, with no stretch marks or flabby bits and us regular folk don't get to spend 8 weeks just faffin about in a villa passing spag bol from one sexy singleton to another. That being said, just like us they still deal with insecurities and bumps in the road that a lot of us can relate to when it comes to relationships. As narrated by Love Island, here is a look at what modern day romance is like. 

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1. We don't put all of our eggs in one basket. 


This is probably a good thing at the beginning because we know that giving your all to someone 100% in the beginning, usually means the sting is harder when the other person decides to call it quits unexpectedly. With social media and the likes of Tinder, it's easier than ever to 'date' several people at the same time. Unless you live in a small community like myself, where people will still think you're cheating/seeing someone else if you're out for a drink with your distant relative who's come to visit. 

2. We're happy, but we could be happier. 


Could this phrase be any more annoying? This mentality isn't healthy and if you're always striving for something better then you're never going to be satisfied. No one should settle for the first person that looks your way, but if you enjoy their company, have a physical attraction and they make you laugh, what else do you need really? We're spoilt for choice nowadays and that's the problem. The grass isn't always greener. 


3. It's easy to find someone who's 100% you type on and off paper. 


It is now easier than ever to find someone who you have a real connection with. Be it because you travel a lot so are constantly bumping into like minded individuals, or you live in a city filled with lots of singles from around the globe. Heck sometimes I find myself passing a hot guy and thinking to myself, 'I hope he's on tinder'. Social media and dating apps means you can find someone who also shares the same love for pottery or Star Wars roleplay. I know lots of people who have successfully found their S/O through the internet and hit it off right away. So as long as you're yourself and don't catfish anyone, there's no shame in it. 


4. We're afraid of labels. 


'We're coupled up but we're not in a relationship' is a common one thrown around the villa ei. There are two kinds of people in there at the moment - those who ask their partner to become their BF/GF after a week of canoodling, and those who hit it off perfectly well but still insist they're not in a relationship so can still look at/get with other people. I definitely see this a lot in the 'real world' where someone shows all the signs that you're mutually exclusive (going for dinner, to the cinema, staying over, telling their family about you) but then any sign of jealousy or serious talk about 'what are we' and they hit you with the old 'we're just dating not in a relationship' line. It's each one to their own with this, I don't really see the point in casually dating someone if it's not going to lead to anything (unless you're moving away/travelling/they're on holiday). Especially once you're in your mid/late twenties because you're essentially wasting your time when you could be with someone who wants to be with only you and will tell you that. 

5. Women are doing equally as many bits.


Ok so I had to throw this one in there for the lols. From what we've seen on the show this year, women are embracing their sexuality just as much as the men. Megan may have got her fair share of hate for switching up guys every couple of days and planting a kiss or two on each, but why does it make her a shlag and Adam a 'top bloke' for doing the same thing? If men can keep their options open, so can women. Leave that boy on read girls. 

6. It is possible to fall in love after spending 3 weeks with someone.


Not going to lie, I've spoken to people on trips and after a week thought to myself 'I'm in love'. When you spend a lot of time with a person everything is a lot more intense and I don't think there's a timeline of when you should/shouldn't be doing things in your relationship. One of my close friends met her now husband on a night out, she moved in with him two months later, and a year on they're married with a beautiful baby girl. On the other hand, I'd say 70% of my close friends and myself included are single. We're technically at the age where we should be looking at engagement rings but there is literally no rush and not everyone is going to be looking for the same thing at a certain point in their life. 

7. There's always going to be someone prettier, smarter or funnier than you. 


But that isn't any reason for them to jump ship! I guess this kind of carries on from the point about always looking for more but there is also the aspect of knowing your own self-worth. We saw it last year with Camilla and this year with Laura, Kendall, Rosie (and everyone else who was Adam's type).  There was nothing wrong with any of them, but sometimes people will leave you for the wrong reasons and that has nothing to do with your worth. The right person will stand by you and think you're the greatest person in the world, and if they don't see that then there's plenty more salmon in the sea. 


Have you been watching Love Island this year? Who are your favourites and what are your thoughts on them?

G




4 comments

  1. I love this post so much, I really think that dating in this age is so hard because we don't tend to socialise and meet new people in real life anymore, it's all online and you have to judge someone without even meeting them which is crazy! I hate the 'I'm happier but could be more' too, its great to strive for more in some instances but sometimes you just have to know when you have good thing and be content with it!
    Soph - https://sophhearts.com x

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  2. I think you can fall in love in a matter of weeks of the person is right for you xx

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  3. What a fantastic post! I laughed a lot but there's so much truth. I agree with Sophie, dating nowadays is so difficult. I totally agree you can fall in love after just a short amount of time, I certainly did.

    Faye Jessica | fayejessica.co.uk

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  4. i have not been watching love island but these are interesting points, i do see often people mistaking sexual attraction for love a lot of the time.

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