THIS IS HOW WE DATE NOW.

20 years ago, a guy might have approached you in a bar, cafe, bookshop, on the street and striked up a conversation with you and maybe proposed you go on a date. Nowadays, dating is a lot more different and mating calls take the form of swiping, liking and retweeting. I'm no stranger to 'online dating', when I was 17 I met a guy through twitter who I ended up speaking to for a year and a half and met up a handful of times, but we still keep in contact (I would not have the patience to do this now). Luckily thanks to apps like Tinder, Bumble and Co you can actually find people in your area and then after a cheesy conversation or two you can start your looove journey face to face. I've been on three tinder dates on my life and 2/3 of them weren't a complete disaster and led to short flings until I had to move away, as usual. So is this how we date now?

500 days of summer



I have mixed feelings about our generations approach to dating. On one side, online dating makes finding someone with similar interests, who's available and also happens to fancy you too a lot easier and avoids you the humiliation of being turned down or dating someone for a month to go and find out they hate F.R.I.E.N.D.S and The 1975. On the other hand, we've become lazy and we're spoilt for choice. Messaging 5 boys/girls at the same time takes no effort whilst it's pretty hard to have lengthy conversations with 5 sexy singles at the bar in one night. So dating almost becomes a game. In a nutshell this is what dating culture consists of now. 

There's temptation everywhere. 

We all have eyes and even in a relationship it's normal to walk past a pretty girl or handsome guy and think to yourself hot damn. The difference is now than technology has made it easier than ever to find said sexy person on social media and all it takes is a couple of discrete likes or snapchats to clock their interest. The same goes for dating apps, Sally might seem like the perfect match for Brad until suddenly he comes across big booty Betty and there goes Sally out the window. For a lot of people, it's not cheating if it's not physical, but when you're spending more time stalking or thinking about someone other than your S/O that's just as worse. 

We're all about casual relationships, because we want more. 

Nowadays it's the norm to post-pone marriage and kids until you're in your 30's, because we want to explore life, be single, travel and have no baggage. The 00s saw the rise of friends with benefits and it seems more and more people are looking for just that, flings, no strings-attached kind of relationships. Just because this means they can jump ship when need be, or stop texting you one day and can fall back on 'we weren't together it was just a fling'. Even if this fling meant dinner dates, cinema trips and holidays. This works when both people are cool with it but if you've watched the movies, you know one person always ends up getting more attached. 

We don't say what we actually feel. 

Following on from my last point, we put up this front of not making things official so we don't get emotionally invested and therefore don't have to admit to ourselves/the other person that we actually care. I think it's a rare occurrence when guys actually approach you and ask if you'd like to go on a drink sometime etc (this happened last month and I was like well this is new). Instead they either want to take you home and then probably never talk to you again, or like all of your Instagram pictures until you get the hint, and then stare at each other in a club without any of you making a move. 

It's easier than ever to date and find someone who's 100% your type on paper. 

Sadly most of us don't have it in us to be on a show like Love Island, so we'll just have to stick to finding people the normal way for now. Despite all of the above, it is now easier than ever to find someone who you have a connection with. Be it because you travel a lot so are constantly bumping into like minded individuals, or you live in a city filled with lots of singles from around the globe. Heck sometimes I find myself passing a hot guy and thinking to myself, I hope he's on tinder. Social media and dating apps means you can find someone who also shares the same love for pottery or Star Wars RolePlay. I know lots of people who have successfully found their S/O through the internet and hit it off right away. So as long as you're yourself and don't catfish anyone, there's no shame in it. 


So is chivalry dead? 

I don't mean to sound all academic, but I think there are still cross-cultural and individual differences. Where I'm from a guys idea of a date is going for a spin in his honda-civic and then stopping at the McDonalds drive through for some chicken nuggets. Whereas when I lived in Florida and London my dates where a lot more adventurous. In my case I believe that life imitates art and I'm inspired by things I see in movies and on TV, which is probably why I am still single. Is it that hard to find a guy who will take me to a fun fair and then ice-cream and then go swimming at midnight? 


I don't touch upon the subject of romance much on my blog, but I quite enjoyed writing this post even though it probably seemed like more of a rant. To all the people in happy relationships right now, enjoy it and live in the moment and not for how many likes you can get on your #couplegoals pictures on Instagram. Hope this post hasn't been too depressing! 




12 comments

  1. Now that I'm single I'm sooo nervous about online dating. I've downloaded both Tinder and bumble but I'm yet to actually use them. But I know I need to because most of the guys I work with/hang out with are like 6 years younger than me. Aaah I wish it was like the movies.

    Lauren | Lauren the Daydreamer

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  2. I'm so very single and totally okay with that. I've never used a dating site or app but when I'm ready to get out there, I might have to turn to them! I'm quite old-fashioned when it comes to dating and I struggle with the whole 'friends with benefits' thing! I can be quite upfront though and aren't afraid to tell a guy if I'm into him or not. I don't mess about; I'm either into it or I'm not!

    Sian x
    www.theenglisheverygirl.com

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  3. I'm utterly terrified of the prospect of online dating! I want to avoid it as much as humanly possible - I just don't like the thought of not meeting someone in person to know if there's a spark there, some people are so different online than face to face! A fun fair, ice cream, and swimming at midnight sounds amazing to me, if you find a man like that - clone him!!

    Abbey 💕 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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  4. I have never truly dated, seeing as I fell in love with my friend from primary school and we've been attached to each other for 7 years! It all sounds very scary to me, if I'm honest. This was an interesting read and "mating calls take the form of swiping, liking and retweeting" really made me chuckle!

    www.lovefrommaira.co.uk

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  5. Online dating was the bane of my existance the one time I tried it, I've been in a rationshop almost three years now so hopefully I won't have to online date again ever haha. I totally agree with all your points here.

    Kayleigh Zara 🌿www.kayleighzaraa.com

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  6. I'm currently in a relationship with a guy I met on Tinder and things are literally amazing and we get on like a house on fire...while still having plenty of differences. I will say online dating is harder if you don't live in a capital city as date options are limited...and you're bound in encounter at least one person you went to school with.
    Alicia x
    Aesthetic Obsessed

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  7. I've heard so many horror stories about tinder but also heard some amazing ones. I don't think I'd cope with dating these days haha xxxxxx

    Lucylovesbeautyxo.com

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  8. I'm so grateful to be in a relationship haha, I honestly don't think I'd cope with dating, especially with the likes of online dating! Xx

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  9. I met my ex online dating and I'm so scared to date again. I Know a few people online dating has worked for and I couldn't be happier.

    I absolutely love this post! Its so honest- and yes, in my opinion chivalry is dead... Although, I may be a little bitter still... Ooops.

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  10. I've been single for almost five months, and just recently have I started going back into the dating pool. I never thought I'd be the one to say this- but I've even got tinder myself. But my experience with the dating app hasn't been the greatest... I'm very picky, and the one guy I had my eye on ended up being extremely RUDE to me after our first date- which at the time i thought went quite well.

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  11. I met my Bf online and but it is such a scary world out there that I don't think I'd do it now. Great post.

    Steph xx
    www.stephsworld.com/travel-in-the-uk

    ReplyDelete
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