Thursday 10 October 2019

[Disclaimer: this post is written in collaboration with Urban Social Dating but all words and thoughts are my own]

Before Tinder, it wasn't really acceptable to say you had met your significant other online was it? I remember being 16 and having more of a thing for English boys (have to thank One Direction for that) so I signed up for this website called snog marry avoid, which was just as brutal as it sounds. You would snog, marry or avoid other teenagers based on their photos and profile (I'd even go as far as to say Tinder probably isn't as harsh). As superficial as it sounds, I actually met up with two boys from that website after speaking for ages, and 9 years later I'm still in contact with them! I remember telling my friends I had met them on holiday as I was too embarrassed to say I'd met them online.

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Fast forward to now, and I think around 40% of relationships start online and nobody bats an eyelid when you mention to people that you met your S/O on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Twitter or on a video game chat room. 

Funnily enough nowadays I rely less on dating apps and prefer making connections in person. But apart from a guy who ran up to me in the cinema a couple of weeks ago to ask for my number, it seems meeting people the old fashioned way isn't as easy anymore. I think a lot of it (online and offline) has to do with location. 

For example, back home in Gibraltar there's no way I'd use swipe right on someone I knew and then have that possibility of bumping into them in town later that day, awkward. Whereas in bigger cities like London and Sydney, I think the chances of meeting someone you have a connection with both in person and online is higher as there is more, variety per say and things to do.

 There's also definitely a difference in the types of men across different dating websites. Tinder is usually where you'll get bombarded with messages asking 'what you doing now?' at 1am whereas Bumble only lets ladies make the first move, so there'll be no unsolicited messages there. Whereas a dating website like UrbanSocial is aimed more at people in their late 20s and older, who are actually looking for a serious relationship and not just there to mess about. 

At 25 and having been single for several years, what I don't want to do now is waste my time. Which is why I deleted Tinder, as I hate small talk and most conversations always end up being dead ends. Even if I did meet someone online, I'd much rather speak for a day then arrange to meet for a coffee the next. I think the longer you wait to meet someone in person the more awkward the situation can get. 

What has your experience been with online dating?


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